When a potentially violent situation threatens to erupt, verbal and non-verbal de-escalation techniques should be utilised. The most important tool in de-escalation is your brain.
Appear calm and self-assured even if you don’t feel that way. Take a deep breath. Relax your facial muscles and look confident. Anxiety can make a client feel anxious themselves and unsafe which can escalate to aggression.
Use a low tone of voice. When frightened, the tendency is to have a high pitch to your voice which can increase client anxiety. Speak in a clear and direct tone so clients can hear what is being said through their anger.
Be respectful, even when firmly setting limits or calling for help. The agitated client will be very sensitive to feeling ashamed and disrespected.
Never turn your back on the client for any reason.
Try to be at the same eye level. Encourage clients to be seated, but if they need to stand, you should also stand up.
Allow extra physical space between you and clients – about four times the normal distance.
Do not maintain constant eye contact. Clients may perceive “staring” as disrespectful.
Do not smile if the client is upset or aggitated. This could be perceived as mockery.
Do not have the client stand between you and the exit.
Avoid confrontational body language such as crossed arms or hands on hips. Make slow movements. Do not point your finger and keep your hands out of your pockets.
Do not be verbally defensive. Even if comments are directed at you, the likelihood is that they are not personal. The client is most probably angry at the situation… not you.
Never tell a client to “calm down”. By saying this, you communicate that you do not understand or accept their viewpoint. This, in turn, validates their anger.
Do not raise your voice or try to yell over screaming clients. Wait until they finish or take a breath and then talk calmly at an average volume.
Do not use humour. Angry clients may misinterpret this as being disrespectful.
Attempting to distract or change the subject can sometimes work, but be cautious - this could further anger clients who realise you are diverting them.
Respond selectively. Answer all informational questions, no matter how rudely asked. Do not, however, answer abusive questions.
Explain limits and rules in an authoritative, firm, but respectful tone.
Give choices, where possible, to alternatives that give clients a way out of the situation without embarrassment. For example, giving them the option of talking later or agreeing on a cooling off period allows clients to save face.
Be patient. On average it takes a person about half an hour to calm down from anger.
Trust your instincts. If you have done all you can to calm the situation but de-escalation is not working, stop.
Experienced housing workers can usually tell within a couple of minutes if de-escalation strategies are working. However, if they are not, leave, activate your personal alarm or mobile application and call for help.
